"what’s the proudest moment of your life?"
well this one time i didn’t screw up my mcdonalds order
1 day ago · 195 notes
Hugging shorter people and resting your head on theirs
Hugging taller people and having your head against their chest
Hugging people your height and pressing your face against their shoulder
Hugging people and getting picked up by them
Not having people to hug
Giving a hug that comes off as weird
This post describes me in every way
1 day ago · 593,380 notes
I’m pretty good at cooking i can make a mean chicken
1 day ago · 100,483 notes
GUYS HELP SOMETHING HAS BEEN TAPPING ON MY WINDOW FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES I’M SCARED TO GO LOOK
oh my gOD
1 day ago · 239,736 notes
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
1 day ago · 126,793 notes
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
1 day ago · 288,586 notes
I drove forty minutes to the Netherlands for some groceries and then I popped into Germany to see some of my relatives before driving back home.
I was in Florida, I drove for nine hours, now I'm still in Florida.
i drove for nine hours #now i'm nine hours away from home #no one is here #the streets are empty #how did this happen #where has civilisation gone #i am alone in the universe #oh wait no there's an echidna it's okay
1 day ago · 129,932 notes